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March 30th, 2007
  So if any of you cool cats care, I've been and will continue using fearoffrying. I'm waaaay too lazy to rejoin all my embarassing communities, so I'll keep this thing alive. But yeah. fearoffrying. Go.  
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August 29th, 2005
  w00t. The first day of school was not nearly as bad as I had feared. Though I am still taking physics. Which pisses me off immensely. Now to hunt down all of the family members of my "guidance" counselor...

I am bad with the responding to commentsness, sorreh. But OMG. Tomorrow I will no longer be a concert virgin. I need to wear something wonderful. Or...or not. I don't know.

But ooooh! I couldn't sleep last night and watched Trainspotting and it is love. The Scottish accentness caused many fangirl moments.

Er. Maybe something of substance later. Need sleeeeep...
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January 20th, 2005
mood: gloomy
Uh-huh. Exams are teh sux0rz. And everyone is done but me. Boo. What am I going to to in Rockville all day by myself? Huh? *sniff*

Yeah. The much hyped tourney never was because of the delay because of snow that tastes funny. Man, certain people are bumming me out. You know? Don't you just wish you could say to people "I really, really really, ____________ and you're like, the second _____________ I've ever seen. And you're ____. And _______. And ocasionally ____. And make ________ go all _________. I wish you would _______ sometimes, because it _____ me to see you sad or worried or stressed or anything but perfectly content, poophead. And that you probably _________________ does that, too. _____ me. What is up with the __________________?"

Obviously, if I can't even write it down...whatever. I keep thinking there's a lot I want to get off my chest, but I can't even think of what it might be, let alone going about expressing it. Arrg. It's so silly. I don't like it when I'm all...silly like that.

I am teh tired. And not wanting to go to school tomorrow. Boo. I am considering entering CD into the Battle of the Bands that is on my birthday, but I suspect the reaction would be something like this:

Lau: *profanities*
Den: What the hell?! We don't even know how to play! I don't have any drums! No equipment! No songs! We have no musical talent at all!
Me: Shhhh. *walks away*

Yeah...sorreh if I haven't replied to your lovely comments. Just very tired.
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January 19th, 2005
mood: eh...
I found a really, really, cute little screwdriver. I missed my math exam today. This puts my tourney-coordinating ness at risk. Le sigh. I will see if I can take it first period. Donnie is being all weird and jumpy, but this is better than dead.

And I got a phone call (sort of)! From Tiffmo! < /sign of the apocalypse > Supposedly, for l'Otakon, the great Bleach group will be split into 2 rooms according to evilness of character. How...interesting.


Ojay says 80% chance of snow today, 30% tonight, 50% Thursday...this almost makes up for distracting me with inappropriate touching. Almost.

d0min0 made me look at poon.

Lily has forced me to go shopping with her after I fail French and Chem.

Laura said a dirty word.

These really shouldn't be day-defining events.
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January 15th, 2005
mood: w00t

Yarr. So I finally got my package from Gabby. I still need to send her something for her birthday/x-mas. And Susan. And maybe that hat for that Mickey one. Maybe.

I asked ma mere if I'd gotten any packages since I wasn't home...some afternoon.

Her: No.
Meh: Are you sure?
Her: Why are you getting packages?
Meh: So I got one?
Her: It's in the living room.
Meh: Why didn't you tell me?!
Her: I told you.
Meh: *grumble* *looks for package*
Meh: Where?
Her: Just look! Don't you have eyes?
Meh: ...
Her: *points to a pile of unintelligible rubble*

But that's OK! Because I have my most favorite movie ever! And a lovely lovely letter from the best wife-friend in the whole world.

Donnie scared the crap out of me by acting dead when I changed his water. There was much hysterics-ness. Then he was like.. *swim*.

Yaaaay! Three day weekend! 2/5 exams complete!
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With the birds I share this loneleh view   
January 11th, 2005
mood: OMG tired
Hmm. Telling myself that I only have to make up tests and quizzes is a lot nicer than like...aknowledging the truth. I was supposed to see Ms. Shoben to see what chem work I still need to make up after school, but my lack of sleep caught up with me and I just stumbled onto some wrong buses and walked home for a long time, half asleep. Then watched World of Chemistry on county TV. Then slept. Then had soup. I should totally be working on my Macbeth journal, but I think I'll sleep some more, get up early, study, and continue my early morning "training" for the tourney. RMAC 2nd annual post-exam DDR party thing. Next Thursday after first period exams! Don't miss it! Come with money. $3. Watch RMBC for the commercial. Which I produced. And picked the music for.

Bah. Before I got to bed, I must write up my chart of people to see/stuff to make up for the next few days. And learn whatever it is we've been doing in chem. Math, I'm not so worried about. At all really. SO MUCH STUFF TO DO! AHH! And Wife's birthday on Thursday...=_=

Ha ha. Certain people should not condone my staying up lateness with their staying up lateness and having quite useless/distracting yet entertaining conversations.

Why is it only Tuesday? Why do they always start exams on a Friday? It's ridiculously cruel.

There isn't any after school It's Ac practice, right? (Who am I asking?) Because of Quizmaster? OMG the mailing list totally exists for a reason and needs to be used.
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January 1st, 2005
  I suggested tea party and Elizabeth and Chris Hellium agreed. Interpreting it as bubble tea party. Perhaps at Ten Ren or Green Tea Cafe. This is what we discuss instead of learning...whatever we are doing in chem. But there has to be something more and what that something more is is unclear. We have less than a month. This is bad. But teh P.Mo and teh Ojay have been coerced should be able to help in a pinch. And OMG DDR tourney. The next few months are going to be super-fun. If the exams/make-up work don't kill me first. I'm totally going to make a schedule and talk to teachers. For real this time. For real.

OMG I miss zugisland. My pretty Totchi BG is gone forever. *sniff*
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December 31st, 2004
mood: anxious
Hmm. Okay. So Ojay told me to read this. And I did. Twas good, I was impressed, not being an avid reader of webcomics. It somehow lead me to discover this, to which I really want to go. (Oh yeah! Who avoided ending a sentence with a preposition?! Is to even a preposition?)

It's the last one! And the guy says not to miss it! I'm far too impressionable. But even if I could miraculously make it to neh jerseh, Katsucon is the same weekend. Grr. I have to go or I will have gone over a year without going to a con. *shudder*

Anyway...yeah. Oh yeah! I had completely forgotten about teh Duffy-boy's birthday. Even though he's been jerkier that dried beef, I played birthday on his voice mail and vowed to remake his pink hat. Perhaps he will call me and everything will be okay. I dunno. I've never really had a friendship cut off like that.

W00t. Tomorrow is the first practice of the new year (that I know of...). Everyone should prepare to have their socks rocked. Or not. I'm more terrified of McK than ever because my essay was late. >_> OMG. I was too afraid to go to school. Which is kind of pathetic. I need to stop fearing my teachers.

OMG. I've made up work, it's just the quizzes and stuff and scheduling them and asking about them which scares me to death. >_> A part of me is screaming "You have to get over it if you don't want to FAIL." but yeah. But I get all...feeling like I can't breathe well nervous. It seems quite foolish.
December 29th, 2004
mood: excited
OMG. I finally got my APUSH book review book (procrastination taken to new levels) and it's all about CHAMBERLAIN. The fact that I have a favorite civil war general isn't quite so sad when you realize just how unbelievably awesome and hawt he is. OMG the cover is hott. Though yeah, maybe he could stand to lose the moustache.

What's even more alaraming is Tokyopop's Rising Stars of Manga 4. I had some heart failure while flipping through it. It was like "OMG!!! WHY DO THESE ENTRIES NOT SUCK?? WTF??" I liked the look of Maximo V. Lorenzo's entry, but that just because I think he's hott, also. I'm digging the shirtlessness. And the hair. And the awesome name. Awesome. Just awesome.

What an intelligent entry. My apologies for the previous ness.
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He called me beautiful   
December 29th, 2004
As you are
As you were
As I want you to be
As a friend
As a friend
As an old enemy
Take your time
Hurry up
The choice is yours
Don't be late
Take a rest
As a friend
As an old memory

Heppeh new ye-ah~
omg teh inspiration   
November 28th, 2004
mood: contemplative

This is where you come in. Yes, you who are destined to save cinema from the many powerful forces working to ruin it. Always remember that you have this responsibility on your shoulders. Your goal must not be image or wealth; your goal must be to make great films. If your only goal is success or wealth, you will either fail or you will succeed by cursing the world with more of the same bad movies that we already have too many of. But if your goal is to make great films, you will make the world a better place, and success and fame will come to you. And you will rescue film. It is for this reason you will go to film school. You will learn to speak in the Language of Cinema, and you will use it to say the things that must be said. You will not make films that feature hyper-intelligent monkeys, or that star alumni of Saturday Night Live. You will not make a Pauly Shore vehicle. You will make powerful, intelligent films that no one but you could ever make. You are the future of this industry, the future of this most visceral of art forms, the future of entertainment. Welcome aboard! We can't wait to see your first film.

-Tom Edgar, Karin Kelly Film School, Confidential

And so my crazy dream continuesCollapse )
November 27th, 2004
  I just realized...
I'm a skankwagon!
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November 26th, 2004
  I have a bad feeling...

Yay for tomorrow. Shopping is love. Maybe I am a girl after all.

Friday Wednesday was quite interesting as my other invited me to hang out after school. I accepted of course as NO ONE ever asks me to do stuff. And I hate asking people to do stuff...they're always like..."Since it's you...no." Unless they don't. And I feel awful asking anyway. Right. I went to her soccer-practice-that-wasn't, and we went to her brother's house to pick him up. We ended up staying for a while and random college guys walked by, looked at us, and were confused. An interesting day.

I think turkey tastes worse every Thanksgiving. My mom bought cheap cider that smelled and tasted (I'm guessing) like beer. I've had far too much coffee.

I wish I were...indispensable. I feel so...unspecial. In comparison to the special people everywhere.
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November 18th, 2004
mood: pensive
Hmm. Today I was thinking, "This ends now!" and all sorts of bad things I could do when I got home because of dumb IB and Ib office stuff. To top it all off, I was wandering the halls at lunch to clear my head, when I saw who I thought was the element-dude and random girl all...yeah. I was like *shock* OMG! *silent tears* *more gross overreactions*

But after school, I saw the real potassium, who was wearing something completely different, and realized that my vision without glasses cannot at all be trusted. The guy I saw was the guy that looks similar overall, but a lot shorter...and I see him with his ladyfriend about quite often. I decided to be a rebel and totally go with the B team to their Beltway League matches, after leaving a mysterious, Kill Bill -referenced list on McK's board. Oh yeah. Who's bad? As expected, RichMoB completely 0wned, and people made me happy by saying I was on the team. When I reached home, things took another turn for the worse, but I'm not feeling quite so bad anymore. I'm determined and stuff! w00t.

The PMo and PMom gave me a ride to Shady Grove Station from Gaithersburg (where the matches were), so I made them some cookies a bit ago. Because it was...interesting. I made her miss Amish-mark. I still have so much work to do~
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November 18th, 2004
mood: groggy
It's...the time it is and I find myself unable to stop thinking of waffles. Not eating them. Just looking at them and the feeling you get when you hear that strange and wonderful word. There's something very wrong here. I give up on formatting the font-ness! I prettied up this journal as much as I'm currently willing to.

I really should be doing things. Alice just made me feel very much like grades aren't important, which is a what a sleepy-whenever-it's-inconvinient person like myself likes to hear, but omg teh film schooland impossible dreams. My brilliant career. I don't think I could just do normal high school. No, I'm far too much of a masochist. I'd go on about this, but no on cares. We'll see where I am in a few years. If I am. How to solve everyone's problems is an item on my to-do list that cases me perplexion.

And for the sake of bolstering my mood and confidence, I'll make a list.
'If he knew me, I'm sure he'd love me...'Collapse )

I really want to see Elf, as the Ferrell-man looks adorable. Like...more so than usual. The June GQ wasn't lying. SEXY BEAST! Ahahaha...
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November 16th, 2004
  Laura says Cabron means bastard. Oh well. Language never kept me from singing obnoxiously.

I need a new toothbrush. I conned Out of the kindness of his heart, Tomatto is getting me things from this list. You should, too. Feed the beast.
November 16th, 2004
mood: optimistic
Today I broke a cardinal rule of Losers Trying to Get Spots on Their School's Freakishly Good Quiz Bowl Team: Missing school on a practice day.
Read more...Collapse )

Truly, it's pathetic to discuss/think of what might be ac more than actual members of the team, but I think it's quite a wonderful thing, and I just wish it could reciprocate my love. Oh, why won't you love me?

But anyway, the real purpose of this entry was to record my goals for the rest of the year. I won't specify calender or academic to give myself a little leeway.

Grades: Of course I'd like to get the best grades, but that's just not going to happen. I'd settle for getting GPA numbers that I can speak of without people thinking that I must be talking about something else. GPA numbers that I can even speak of. I have no idea why I'm in Honors French 4 when Pre-IB French 3 was probably more challenging. Mr. Awono's love of pop quizzes and sporadic homework checking makes him far more detestable than Mrs. Johnson in my book. I'll try to see if I can switch out, as that class never fails to ruin my day. I also must discuss with the P.Mo what it is that makes her able to harass her teachers for help without thinking she's a complete idiot for needing it.

Employment: It really bothers me how most of the posse seems to be joining Arts on the Block or doing some sort of employment-type thing. I need the money SO badly, and could work so hard (with the exception of Tuesdays, Thursdays, and certain Saturdays), but there's no way I could get a job anywhere because of my grades. Unless my prospective employers didn't care. Which isn't going to happen.

Teamness: I think I need someone to just slap me and tell me to relax. Everyone seems so cool, but I'm so afraid of them thinking I'm stupid and not respecting me and all that. In general, paralysis is common when I'm with people I don't know very well. I know I could be an asset to the team, even if I can't write questions, dammit!

Other: I feel like I'm not being a very good friend, but to a certain extent, I have to take care of myself before I can help others. I can give some advice and hugs, but that's pretty much it. I lurve all of my friends sooooo much, but I'm not of much use to them in my current state. At home, things are getting better, so maybe I'll be okay. I just really wish I had

Potassium Scandal: I still have six months! He'll come around.
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November 15th, 2004
mood: uncomfortable
I'm wondering if I'm making a mistake. Not asking, as everyone will be like "OMG NO! MISTAKE!" But really.
Funky marker coloring + photoshop + goole image'd image + impossible anatomy + bad perspective =

It hurts quite a lot already o.o I wish I had something better to share. Maybe I do.
Maybe if things don't work out, I'll have some GG and Death Note y pics. And photos from Blake thingie. TOO BAD I WASN'T IN DELAWARE. NOT THAT IT BOTHERS ME. No, it's really much more than that. Poo.</p>
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'Arehzonafornication' makes little or no sense   
November 14th, 2004
mood: sleepy

I really did like my old lj. Really! But after being away from it for so long, I guess that deep bond between a girl and her sn grew weak enough for me to get a new one. But I like the feeling of new blog-things! It's refreshing.

Thinks seem to be getting better and worse at the same time for me and everyone~ But I'm way too tired to get into it.
I guess I'll start life-recording another day. ^_^

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